Find Healthy Motivation
In a world where instagram shows the highlight reel and Hollywood praises skinny over strong, how can we find a healthy source of motivation? How can we find a clear self-image? Where do we derive our strength to push forward to accomplish our personal goals? The trouble with today is that we so often compare ourselves to what we see. We find ourselves weighing our lives against people we've never even met. We view the external. We take others' successes and goals as our own. And the worst part is we diminish our own self-worth when we do so. We get caught up in what we see rather than what we know. We think we aren't as skinny as that girl, we don't have muscles like that one, we aren't as pretty, etc. But the reality of it is we are all different. We are all unique. We are all beautiful. The challenge is finding a healthy self-image when everything around us tells us we aren't good enough.
So how do we combat the lies that others tell us or ones we tell ourselves? How do we overcome the norm and set new standards? How to we grow to love ourselves and love our bodies? How do we change on mindset from degradation to elevation?
First, we must know that social media lies. Yes, it's true. We all fall into the traps of putting our best foot forward, and so do most others. We must understand that what we see on TV or on our phones isn't the truest form of any existence. We don't see the whole picture. Someone's perfect, white smile could be hiding depression and fear. Another's flex pose does not show the insecurities they truly feel. That girl's #couplesgoals post does not show the terrible fight they had two hours earlier. We must dwell on the reality that what we see is never the whole picture.
Second, our mindset cannot be altered without self reflection. We are all individuals, unique in many ways. We cannot compare our weaknesses to someone else's strengths. Instead, we must appreciate our own strengths. Reflection on what we do well and where we are each successful prevents us from comparing ourselves to others. Find motivation not in comparison, but in self competition. Compare your past self to your current self. Let your own progress be your inspiration. Be willing to compete with your own self. Be strong enough to let go of comparing your body, your mind, your successes, your strengths to others, but contemplate how you are strong. Be gentle with yourself. Stop letting your "failures" be failures. Let where we feel inadequate be room to improve. Write down five things you love about yourself. Then, list your strengths, accomplishments, areas of pride. Be proud of your triumph. Dwell on these and let them fill you with gratification.
Remove barriers to your healthy mindset. Is scrolling through social media the cause of self doubt? Limit your usage. Is following a certain person causing you to feel badly about your body? De-friend them. Is there a friend who continues to cause rub their progress in your face? Restrict your time spent together. It may sounds harsh, but you need to do what is best for you. Be true to yourself. Be okay with saying "no." Be content with removing people, places, or things from your life that cause poor self-talk. This leaves room for self-assurance. This leaves room for other healthy areas to grow. Pour more of your effort into building relationships with those who care and reciprocate it. Love on them and empower them. Let your encouragement to others encourage you as well. Tone It Up has a community of girls that do just that. Find your tribe and remove other barriers.
We must learn to appreciate other's growth and successes without believing we are worth any less. Just because someone else is profiting, doesn't mean we aren't good enough. Just because your best friend is gaining attention and you aren't, doesn't mean you are any less beautiful. That does not determine your worth. We must learn to rejoice in others' accomplishments without falling into jealousy or self loathing. This is hard, trust me, I know. We are all different, going through a unique pattern of life. Don't let other's successes discourage you from pursuing your own. Celebrate others and celebrate your own accomplishments. We are all in this together. Let's create a culture of building people up instead of breaking people down. Let's create a community of love and encouragement.
We must not let other people define our success. Don't fall into the trap of needing "likes" to feel accepted. We cannot let our worth be based on another's opinion. Don't let our mindset be determined by the number of friends we have, the amount of followers we have, the volume of comments we receive. Let go of the need to feel successful in wordily terms. There is so much more to living than a temporary "high" we receive from other's words. There is more to you than what others think. They cannot see the entirety of your being. Do not let your motivation be based on anything external or temporary, but find it inside yourself. We must find our strength within our hearts and soul. Find a drive for success from within–from self competition, from a desire to grow mentally, physically, spiritually.
Don't forget, smile, love, live, grow, challenge, inspire. Be yourself in everything you do. Be inspired by your own progress. Be challenged by your desire to grow. Be willing to get uncomfortable. Be okay with having "haters." Be ready to love deeply. Be open to know you are worth it. You have motivation within. You just need to search for it and believe it. There is a saying, "fake it til you make it." Fake your motivation until you become your own. You've got this!